Cyberbullying: What Parents Need to Know — and How to Actually Help Your Child

Cyberbullying — the use of digital technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person — affects approximately 20% of children aged 10–18, according to the Cyberbullying Research Center. Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying follows children home: there's no safe refuge at the end of the school day. It can be anonymous, it can spread to large audiences instantly, and digital content can persist indefinitely. The psychological impact is significant: cyberbullying is associated with increased rates of depression, anxiety, school avoidance, and in severe cases, self-harm.

Forms of cyberbullying: harassment (sending repeated mean, hurtful, or threatening messages); exclusion (deliberately leaving someone out of online groups or conversations in a hurtful way); outing (sharing someone's private information, photos, or secrets without consent); impersonation (creating fake accounts or hacking accounts to post damaging content); cyberstalking (repeated monitoring, following, or threatening online); and 'pile-on' harassment (coordinating groups of people to target one individual). Sexting-related cyberbullying — sharing intimate images without consent — is a particularly serious form that may constitute a crime in most states.

Signs your child may be experiencing cyberbullying: emotional distress during or after using devices; being unusually secretive about online activity; avoiding school or social situations; unexplained changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite; withdrawing from friends and family; declining grades; and reluctance to discuss what they're doing online. Some children don't show obvious signs — regular, casual check-ins about their online social life are more effective than waiting for visible distress.

How to respond when your child is targeted: stay calm — an emotional reaction can make children less likely to come to you in the future. Don't immediately take away devices — this punishes the victim and removes their ability to communicate with supportive friends. Document everything before blocking or reporting: take screenshots of all harassing content with timestamps. Report to the platform (all major platforms have reporting mechanisms for harassment). If the bullying involves threats of violence, sexual content, or is severe and persistent, contact the school and potentially law enforcement. Contact your child's school even for off-campus cyberbullying — schools have increasing authority to address cyberbullying that affects the school environment.

If your child is the one cyberbullying: research shows that many children who cyberbully don't fully understand the impact of their actions — the distance of a screen reduces empathy. Don't minimize it ('kids will be kids') or respond with harsh punishment alone. Have a direct conversation about the impact on the target. Require your child to make amends where possible. Investigate the underlying causes — children who bully often have their own social or emotional struggles. Work with the school. Implement monitoring tools temporarily to verify the behavior has stopped. The goal is behavior change and empathy development, not just punishment.

Prevention strategies: maintain open communication so your child feels comfortable coming to you. Teach digital citizenship — that online actions have real consequences for real people. Review privacy settings on all platforms so personal information isn't publicly accessible. Use monitoring tools like Bark that alert you to concerning language patterns without reading every message. Encourage your child to be an 'upstander' rather than a bystander — to support targets and refuse to participate in pile-on harassment. And model the behavior you want to see: how you talk about others online, how you handle conflict digitally, and how you treat people in online spaces all shape your child's understanding of acceptable behavior.